wow. i have had a smile on my face for the past couple days. it is so odd how i feel right now. for the past couple of days i have been thinking and talking about my weekend almost non-stop. most of my friends have had to sit through at least 20 minutes of me rambling about her... rehashing the weekend... or explaining how i feel right now. they were all great and stuck through the grueling 20 minutes of me being giddy and hyper. that is one of the many reasons why they are my friends.

i have been thinking soo much about what the future holds... about what i want... and about how i hope things will work out. i know that the feelings that i have are genuine. i know that for once in my life, i truly know what i want.

this is kind of hard for me to talk about... because i know that the person that i am swooning over will probably be reading this at one point or another. i am not scared to share my feelings... but i am worried that if she reads this, she might get scared away. i am not extremely worried about that though, because i think that she knows where i stand... and that she can have as much time as she needs to feel comfortable enough to get into a relationship with someone. i say someone, because i do not know for sure if that someone will be me. i know i am interested in her, and it seems as if she is interested in me... but there is still a little barrier that is built a little too high for me to see over, to know for sure. that barrier is from her previous relationship... a barrier that i am willing to wait for her to cross.

i don't want to push things too much... nor do i want to run the risk of losing the chance to be with her. i guess... this is just a confession. a statement directly to her. if you are reading this... i just want to say that i meant every word that i said to you that morning and that you have a little piece of my heart.

i could say so much more about what i think... what i feel, but it would all be restatements of the one thing... i really care about her, as a friend, as a person, and i want to get closer to her... and sharing my life with her. anyone out there that knows what i mean... has felt that feeling... i hope things worked out for you... and if they did i envy you and hope with all of my heart that things work out for me as well.

for all of the other people that are reading this right now, and have read my poetry and journal's before... the ones that have emailed me, showing their support... showing their genuine appreciation of my sharing, i just want to say thank you. i appreciate all of your support and i hope that you continue reading and continue giving me your feedback. again, i extend my thanks.

now, it's time for me to watch a little tv and then get some rest. i have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. so, let me close the book of thoughts for now. take care.