i have done a little thinking... had a little time to reflect. the joys that we call life.. the happiness that we seek. ahh... what a marvelous thing it is. the states of happiness that we seek... the thoughts that we try to figure out... all seem to confuse us even more in the end. The words we say, the actions we do... all give people clues as to what we feel.. how we feel... or how we are going to react. Our hearts are speaking truthfully... if the people learn how to listen. my heart has its own state though... it cant be classed. the lack of classification of its state is the true classification of it. the statelessness is what makes it special.

this also seems to cause people to wonder... to worry. however, if the state of your heart is a mystery.. then more people offer their comfort.. their advice... their help... easing any burden that your heart may have... and therefore helping your heart heal itself without revealing that it was wounded in the first place. this is either a pitfall or a much appreciated side-effect. i can't quite decide which one.

a question was posed of what is more important to me, the pursuit of happiness... or the obtaining of it. i would say the obtaining of happiness... although, the hunt is where things become interesting. as a general statement, man is much better at the hunt, due to all the practice, than he is at the happiness... because that only truly comes once in most peoples eyes. therefore, we seek what we are comfortable with and when presented with the actual prize... we are confused... and don't know what to do with it. it is a sad situation really... but it seems to ring true.

but what should hold more importance? the protection of my heart... or the happiness reached by letting someone truly understand you? it could be important to let someone in... but who is that someone? it all depends on who it is revealed to.. who that person is. there are a lot of relentless people out there... and there are also a lot of caring people. it is a matter of a flip of the coin as to which will see the truth and which will see the self-healing version of me.

a conversation with one of my friends led to a lot of this journal. a lot of this is merely the rehashing and clarification of the conversation that we were holding. some of these points were inspired by his questions... others were based directly on my thoughts for the day.

it is interesting to think about the things that inspire one to write, or think about something. the motives, the reasons... almost always are hidden... yet with observation and knowledge of the person... they can often be figured out. there are many things that inspire... to find the candle that lights your path is the motive behind the art, behind the prose, behind the words that make up that poem... that search for inspiration is the inspiration in itself.

food for your thought. take care.